PHANTASTIQA

I don’t like to mince words when it comes to cult media: I like my horror, science fiction, and action movies to be R-rated, no-indoor-bullstuff stories for adults. Avenger’s Endgame? Get your hiney over here so I can give you an atomic wedgie. Toy Story? Let me stick your head in a toilet and give it a flush. Love Actually? You have never seen a testicle.

I like movies that were made for the grindhouse; the kind of flicks that make you feel all icky inside for likin’ ‘em. For instance, I like movies like I Spit on Your Grave, Martyrs, and Cannibal Holocaust. Or even wholesome films like Road House, Point Break, and Showgirls. These are the kinds of films that deliver “the goods.”

What exactly are “the goods?” Violence, cursin’, guns, over-the-top car chases, and explosions; gratuitous shots of boobies, butts, and erection-free ding dongs; blood, gore, and practical effects. Those are “the goods.” If the movie doesn’t have a combination of five or more of those elements, it’s a clunker. Go ahead and throw it in the family section at Walmart and let your five-year-old niece watch it unattended; it’s a movie for wimps.

Don’t get me wrong, I can watch the latest superhero flick or Star Wars re-hash and munch popcorn with the best of ‘em, but it doesn’t really do it for me. I don’t get my proverbial rocks off, if you catch my drift.

But where does someone go to learn about movies that deliver “the goods?” Where does someone find a production company that is making movies that deliver “the goods?” Is there a one-stop-shop for “the goods?”

Well, I’m glad you asked because I’ve got two words for you: Rebeller Media.

Rebeller Media is a new online forum from Dallas Sonnier—the fella behind Cinestate and resurrecting Fangoria—that focuses on what he’s calling “Outlaw Cinema.” Apparently, he hadn’t heard of “the goods” because it’s the same darn thing, but I won’t hold that against Mr. Sonnier. He’s doing the Lord’s work.

For an annual subscription fee of $20.20 you’ll get access to articles written by the likes of Joe Bob Briggs, S. Craig Zahler (Dragged Across Concrete, Bone Tomahawk), Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, and Outlaw Vern.

And those were just some of the initial offerings from their launch week! It’s gonna be an awesome site.

Now, if you’re not sold already, you can sign up for free and give it a test drive, but without paying the annual subscription fee you can only access three articles per month.

Honestly, I can’t contain my excitement. Rebeller Media is the coolest thing to happen to the internet since free porn. Fans of cult media have a lot to look forward to in 2020.

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Evelyn Jackson

Eve loves cats and doesn’t want to know you.

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